Fearless Flirting

Thank You for joining my recent workshop, hosted by Digger Keith: sex, relationship, and charisma coach and Headmaster of Queericulum – Comfort & Joy’s Queer, Edgy, Learning & Development Effort.
 
Here’s a quick summary of all the content below:
  • A FREE coaching session for you. But! you must book a free consultation for anytime in the next month but you have to making the booking THIS WEEKEND only. Limited time offer expires Monday May 9th. Details below.
  • Save $10* for the next Flirt Fun group outing to continue your journey to fear-free flirting while socializing with other growth mindset queers. Find the promo code to save $10 & details below. * You must register today, this promo code will expire on Monday May 9th.
  • Notes from the ‘Fearless Flirting Queericulum’ workshop by Digger Keith, sex, relationship, & charisma coach. Copy and save for your personal use by Monday May 9th because I’ll be taking them down then. You can always join the Flirt Fun group or work with me one-on-one for a refesher. Notes are below.
  • Homowork & how to keep developing your relational, charismatic, emotional, & erotic abilities for a life full of expanding and amazing professional opportunities, relationships, intimacy, and sex possible!
 

SPECIAL OFFER THIS WEEKEND ONLY: FREE coaching session

For community folks like you – If you book a FREE consultation now, I’ll throw in a FREE coaching session because I want to give you a proper taste of what’s possible. This is a 75 minute session via zoom or in-person (your choice) valued at over $100. No obligation. But you MUST book your free consultation today before the weekend ends on Monday May 9th, – schedule the consultation for anytime in the month ahead using the Schedule button on my website www.diggerkeith.com. Mention this offer and during the consultation we’ll book your free coaching visit.
 
If you liked what you learned at this workshop, this is just the tip of the iceberg of ways I help empower folks with their social, relational, charismatic, and sexual skills that make life better. I’d love to meet with you one-on-one in person or via zoom for a free private consultation to find out more about my approach specific to you goals and all the possibilities.
 
Submit your anonymous feedback on the workshop on this Google Form, thank you! 
 

Flirt Fun Group Outings Monthly

Continue your journey towards Fear-Free flirting, by joining my monthly FlirtFun group outing to learn and practice some more.
 
Join your flirtbuddies in person around 8 or 9pm for an hour or so in a private location to refresh our flirtskills before heading out for practice in the field. Destinations and dates varying across Soma, Castro, and other haunts. Limited to only 10 participants. 
 
Next one is on Wednesday May 11th at 8pm and space is limited to 10 participants so register asap here. Save $10 with promo code TouchMe but move quick this code expires Monday May 9th.
 
To get notified of these events:
– join my mailing list here.
 

NOTES from the workshop:

 
Warm-up: Flirting is easiest when we are embodied, confident, friendly, and open. We warmed up with some simple exercises that can help, but they work even better for those who cultivate these qualities on an ongoing basis. There are tons of ways I can help you with that to overcome challenges unique to you in one-on-one coaching.
 
Embodiment Breath: The breath is the most accessible route to getting us out of our heads, where anxiety, fear, and uncertainty can lurk – and into our bodies, where wisdom, desire, connection, and pleasure await. Use the breath as a touch stone to keep your attention on sensations within the body, and particularly what your gut tells you. Do some breaths into the top of the chest, then also down into the belly, and finally down to the pelvic floor where your sexual chakra is. Notice where you feel it – maybe your taint, asshole, or genitals. Don’t judge, just notice. Finally take some breaths and kegel – squeeze that PC muscle. I like to call it the P ring since it’s the ring muscle you would squeeze to stop yourself from peeing if you had to. It’s also the same P ring that Pumps out ejaculate. Remember for the rest of your flirting journey – anytime you get into your head wondering what to do or say next or anytime your monkey mind starts catastrophizing you can simply drop the thoughts and come back into your body with a breath and a kegal at any time.
 
Confidence: The world around us is always trying to steal our confidence. It’s up to you to cultivate your garden of confidence and protect from toxins, on an ongoing basis. I help clients one-on-one learn how to cultivate confidence which should be done on an ongoing bases.. This is just one of many last minute somatic practices for confidence. It won’t work alone to rescue serious insecurities but it will give a boost. Stand in a superhero pose. Wide stance, chest out, chin up, fists at your waist. Proudly take up space.
 
Friendliness: Imagine you just won the olympian medal for best flirt. Or a billion bucks or Oprah just gave you a car. Whatever makes you excited. Smile wide. Jump up and down with your arms up in the air with glee. Hoot and holler like you’re the most excited you’ve ever been in your life. Even if you don’t feel like it, fake it till you make it. Or until you start laughing at how ridiculous you might look or feel in the moment. Laughing at our selves is one of the best signs of super attractive confidence.
 
Openness: Imagine there is an epic party in your pants and you are the door host recruiting and screening for suitable party guests.  You are a fabulous international socialite and you love finding new people to invite into your party. Sometimes thinking about what we want to say to a hottie gives our mind the time to talk us out of it. To circumvent that, don’t think just talk – be open, curious, and welcoming excited to find the hidden jewels that every other person you meet has. Start low stakes if you need to – folks you’re not attracted to.
 
Now you’re practicing the art of sparking up conversations. Continuing conversations and exuding charm are skills you can develop with practice and a coach like me. Practice in low stakes situations often and always and then apply the same mindset to high stakes hotties. If they respond friendly and favorably then you might drop some flirt signals.
 
FEAR: Overcoming fear is easy if you REFRAME.
 
REFRAME your goal: It’s not to pull or seduce, get laid, or get their phone number. Your hottie is not a goal to be conquered. Your hottie is a portal for you to practice whatever growing edge you have around flirting. The outcome is irrelevant and actually if any approach goes pearshaped these are the biggest opportunities to learn.
 
REFRAME REJECTION:
  • You’re human so you are wired to take things personally and assume the worst. But you can reframe to do yourself a favor.
  • Why give anyone such power? You don’t even know them, they could be a total douchebag.
  • You have NO IDEA why your hottie isn’t responding in a favorable manner. Choose any story that keeps your confidence in tact:
  • they’re in a relationship
  • they have social anxiety
  • they think you are so hot that you make them nervous and act weird
  • they find you hot, but you remind them of an ex lover
  • they’ve got a broken heart on their mind
  • Or maybe it’s PTSD: Potentially Temporary Situational Disinterest
  • insert any story that protects your confidence hunny. Make it a funny one so you can giggle as you part ways.
 
REFRAME ANXIETY: That’s excitement honey!
 
Flirting Steps:
  1. Approaching a hottie
  2. Sparking up a conversation
  3. Continuing a conversation
  4. Charming your hottie
  5. Dropping flirt signals
  6. Atune and adjust to their reaction – wither escalating, cool it, or gracefully moving on.
Flirting guidelines:
  • don’t overdo it
  • drop a flirt signal here and there between friendly banter
  • stand back in your power
  • No matter how hot they are, peel your eyes off of them often. . To both stand back in your power and give them a chance to check you out without you catching them in the act. Engage with others around the two of you so they can see how lovely you are with others.
  • Get them to wonder “are they flirting with me?”
  • tension is arousing
  • Don’t corner any one physically or conversationally
  • Give them an easy way out and be grateful for the clarity if they take it rather than wasting your time. If they don’t take that way out, maybe it means they’re into it?
  • Attune to yourself and atune to them. Your gut will tell you:
    • If your flirt is clearly being returned or not. Some hotties will need time and getting acquainted before they decide they want to flirt with you.
    • Very few people will send mixed signals which is confusing. I usually move on towards those whose signals I understand.
    • Some of us have disconnected from our body as a survival tactic in earlier life experiences and may find this difficult. Working with a coach like me can help you reconnect to that awareness.
 
Flirt Signals:
  • DESIRE: Embody your desire. Breath and kegel and let the desire come out of your face naturally.
  • SMILE: When you’re embodying your desire that unmistakeable flirty smile will come out naturally. Show it off.
  • EYE CONTACT: Prolonged eye contact
  • PROXIMITY: Moving closer. If they back off, you backoff
  • COMPLIMENTS: Sparingly, specific, and quickly move on instead of waiting for a reply like a starved puppy. Not a hot look.
  • TOUCH: ONLY if you’re feeling their flirty response, a gentle passing touch or squeeze on a neutral area such as forearm or shoulder or back can escalate the flirting.
  • OPENNESS: Turn your body and feet toward them. Read if they’re body is open to you.
  • ATTENTION: Are they paying attention to you?
  • HUMOR: If a funny quip arises in your mind toss it out, it’s probably funny. If they laugh your shared humor is a good sign as well as a good flirt. If you don’t share the same sense of humor then why bother? If it seemed funny in your mind until you vocalized it then own it “wow, that was way funnier in my mind, doh!”
 

Homowork:

  • Find your growing edge and practice, practice, practice. Start with low stakes if necessary
  • Get your free coaching session by booking your free consultation before Monday. Click schedule at www.diggerkeith.com
  • Join my monthly FlirtFun group outing. Join your flirtbuddies in person in a private location to refresh our flirtskills before heading out for practice in the field. Save $10 with the promo code TouchMe but you must register today.
  • Stay in touch to keep developing your relational, charismatic, emotional, & erotic abilities for a life full of expanding and amazing professional opportunities, relationships, intimacy, and sex possible!:
    – join my mailing list here.