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Coaching 4 Connection

Charisma, Relationship, & Sex Coaching

Welcome

2021.07.16_Cropped

Enjoy the best opportunities, relationships, intimacy, & sex possible!

Hello and welcome! My name is Digger and I help people with a wide range of issues across all types of platonic & intimate relationships – from friends, family, colleagues, communities, to lovers including intimacy and sex. I can help you develop your relational, charismatic, emotional, & erotic abilities for a life full of the best professional opportunities, relationships, intimacy, and sex possible! 

We’re all born with the potential to create deeply fulfilling human connections and mind-blowing intimacy. Yet for most of us, this potential has been poisoned by the toxic culture around us. As your coach, I can help you overcome these barriers to attract & create deeply fulfilling relationships & intimacy.

We can tackle shame, repression, limiting beliefs, old patterns, and more for a life with less pain and more joy. We can build charisma and confidence in healthy and fulfilling social, relationship, and erotic skills. Some of the most common issues addressed in my practice are detailed in the Benefits page.

I bring a masters degree in psychology plus a bachelors degree in biology and extensive training in sexuality, comedy, communication, charisma, and the Somatica® method of coaching. I also draw from from 5+ decades of professional and personal life experiences across the globe, inspired by cultures with healthier relationships and sexuality. My personality balances profound inquiry with play and humor for an encouraging and uplifting presence that leaves others relaxed, comfortable, and seen without judgement. For more about my life journey and qualifications, check out the About Me page.

This is not psychotherapy. This is somatic coaching that often harnesses embodied practices and experiential learning to accelerate the integration of shameless authenticity and optimal relationship skills. I tailor my approach to your needs, drawing from a broad range of skills and styles. For more about how I work, check out The Work page.

I recommend that you select a coach that you feel safe, warm, and comfortable talking with. To find out if that’s me, I hope you’ll accept my invitation for a free initial consultation. I can share my approach particular to your goals and answer any questions to help you decide if I’m the right fit for you. To book your free consultation, click here

I sincerely hope that, whatever your next step is, it leads to the joy-filled life you deserve!

Benefits

Question: How can I benefit from working with a sex & relationship coach?

With qualifications detailed in the About Me page, and an approach described in The Work page, I help people with a wide range of goals across all types of relationships from friends, family, colleagues, communities, and lovers including intimacy and sex. 

I welcome diverse clients of all shapes, ages, sizes, genders, identities, abilities, and races who feel they would benefit from the education,  experiences, and perspectives of a highly trained, homoflexible, mostly-gay, cis-gendered, queer Daddy dude (that’s me ;-).

The following list includes some of the more common goals addressed in my coaching practice, within the realms of relationships, charisma, sex & intimacy including kink/BDSM. I would love to share my specific approach for your goals in a free consultation. This one-on-one zoom or phone conversation will allow me to answer any questions you have and help you decide if I’m a good fit for you. To book your free consultation, click here.

Sex & Intimacy

Sex Coaching | Intimacy Coaching

Sexual shame and misinformation affects everyone at some level – either personally or through others around us. This often disconnects people from their authentic self and prevents them from pursuing and building fulfilling relationships and intimacy in life. This can lead to dissatisfaction, loneliness, depression, despair and many other challenges that can often be addressed through sex & intimacy coaching. Common issues to address include:

  • The Best Sex Life Possible: As your sex coach, I can help you explore, discover, and understand your authentic desires, fantasies, and hottest turn-ons. We can consider the breadth of options for relationships, sex, and intimacy with non-judgmental and fact based considerations. I can help you pursue your desires safely with skills in the art of seduction and sex without shame. I can also help you understand others’ desires and how to bridge the differences. We’ll work through shame or discomfort toward self-acceptance and love so that you can pursue your true desires to build the life of your dreams.
  • Intimacy at its Finest:  Intimacy coaching can overcome barriers and foster skills for building a life full of profoundly fulfilling authentic intimacy.
  • Shame and Sex-Negativity:  We’ll uproot the sex-negativity of our culture and learn to vigilantly detoxify it from your life. We’ll work through and build defenses against insidious shame and internalized homophobia that impedes true intimacy.
  • Sexual Health & Education: As a sex educator, I can share open, honest, factual, and thorough sex-positive education that is based on pleasure and science rather than dogma and shame. We can clarify and deconstruct cultural biases and miseducation that inhibits your full potential for thriving intimacy and connection.
  • Red Hot Erotic Technique: Learn basic to advanced love technique including psychology, communication, context, anatomy, and physiology of sex.
  • Experiential Learning: We can practice skills in communication, conflict resolution, and touch to deepen your relationships and enliven passion, desire, and erotic empowerment. Experiential sex & intimacy coaching can help you improve your ability to emotionally and physically connect with yourself and others.
  • Sexual Dysfunctions and Difficulties: We can address trauma, anxiety, low desire, confidence building, phobias, erectile dysfunction, condom fatigue, painful intercourse, challenges to orgasm, lackluster sex, and inexperience.
  • Sexy Communication & Negotiation:  We can practice effective communication to create a safe space with partner(s), which is integral as a foundation for authentic intimacy and hot sex.
  • Consent:  Learn how to respect consent and boundaries while building, rather than losing, the organic passion of the moment.
  • Getting What You Want, and Stopping What You Don’t Want: I can help you discover and share your boundaries in a sexy, clear, and loving way. And I can help you sense to respect your partner’s boundaries even when they can’t.
  • Sex Without Drugs: Intoxicants are popular as a shortcut to our authentic and uninhibited, fully embodied sexuality, bypassing sexual shame. But we can get you there sober or in recovery from addiction.
  • Selecting Professionals: With extensive education in employee selection and an understanding of the various related professional domains that can support your goals, I can help you select effective and quality professionals of all kinds – both conventional and unconventional.
 

Kink Coaching / BDSM Coaching

I welcome your curiosity with an open and nonjudgmental place to explore and discuss kinky interests such as:
 
  • Learning about and understanding kinks and fetishes.
  • Considerations for harnessing kinks & fetishes safely
  • BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadomasochism)
  • Connecting you with communities of similar interests
  • Skills building

Benefits

Relationship Coaching

Intimacy Coaching

As your relationship coach, I can help you with social and charisma skills that can improve all types of platonic and intimate relationships from acquaintances, colleagues, community, friends, & family, to partners & lovers. I can help you identify and optimize habitual behavior to maximize your success in dating or existing relationships. I can also work with you on:

  • Confidence building
  • Cultivating magnetic charisma & attractiveness
  • Empowered flirting
  • Overcoming rejection
  • Conversational and relational skills
  • Humor, charm, and confidence
  • LGBT issues such as coming out, homophobia, gay-male shame, gender diversity, etc.
  • Bridging racial & cultural diversity in relationships
  • Overcoming social, sexual, & relational anxiety
  • Managing emotional triggers
  • Deepening intimacy and rewarding connection in all relationships
  • Reducing irritation & disappointment for more fulfilling relationships
  • Building community, friendships, and supportive relationships
  • Empowered dating
  • Intentional mate selection & compatibility
  • Repairing relationships efficiently to maximize joy and minimize strife
  • Understanding yourself and others
  • Finding the right intimacy & relationship(s) styles for you across the spectrum from monogamous to open to polyamorous (and more!)
  • Creating and navigating alternative relationship structures like open or polyamorous

The range of possible issues is far too big to include here, but these are some of the more common ones addressed in my coaching practice. I would love to tell you about my approach for your particular situation and goals and answer any of your questions in a free initial private consultation Zoom call. To book your free call, click here.

Charisma

Charisma Coaching

Contrary to popular misconception, charisma is not an inborn trait, it’s actually learned. Charisma is the combination of 3 fundamental ingredients: power, presence, and warmth – all of which are essential for true happiness and are usually acquired in childhood through loving and charismatic role models. But the research is clear: it’s never too late to learn how to be charismatic.
 
Charisma will benefit your relationships in all realms by deepening connection and magnetizing your likeability and attractiveness as a friend, coworker, or lover. If you’ve ever marveled at the inexplicable appeal of the ‘ugly hot’ – their secret is charisma. Google ‘ugly hot’ to see pictures of Mick Jagger or Woody Harrelson or other celebrities who, despite rather goofy looking faces, have incredible sex appeal through their embodiment of charisma. Charisma is also highly advantageous to your platonic and professional relationships –  including career opportunities and advancement because professionals often hire and promote the people they LIKE best. Charismatic people are influential and this benefits people-oriented careers like management roles. Charisma is also an essential trait for executive positions.
 
We can work together to improve your charisma with simple practices to build your power, presence, and warmth for the life of your dreams! Start your journey today with a free initial private consultation Zoom call you can book now by clicking here.

The Work

I understand that this kind of work can be scary and intimidating for many people. That’s why my first priority is to help you relax and find comfort as your friendly fellow human at your side helping to improve your life, in a playful, explorative way without judgement nor expectations. I pride myself in providing an encouraging, uplifting, and warm presence that balances profound inquiry with play and humor. Clients often report that I help them feel very relaxed, comfortable, and seen without judgement. 
 
Let me be clear: this work is NOT about changing who you ARE, NOR is it to teach you to ACT in a manner that is inauthentic or incongruent with your values. This work is NOT to convert you to anything except discovering and embracing your authentic self, working through shame, and re-examining old patterns and lessons to see if they still serve you. It’s about trying on behavioral skills to find those that make you shine inside and out while completely in alignment with your authentic self and values so that you can live the happiest life possible.
 
In my practice, I strive to create a safe space for you to explore, grow, enjoy, and overcome any obstacles limiting your authentic and best self. We can work together to find and develop the intimacy and connection that is right for you. We can practice conversations and movement for flirting, dating, conflict, charisma, and more. This can include candid discussions and learning about your style, communication, sex, relationships, and intimacy. Of course, we’ll discuss your history and patterns as appropriate. 
 
Part of our work will be experiential. We can’t learn how to play an instrument by just reading and talking about it. The same goes for charisma and emotional and physical intimacy. You will learn skills through interactive practice with embodied experiences which will impart a deeper sense of ease and confidence. For a sense of the Somatica® Method I often employ, check out the Somatica® Sessions YouTube Channel.
 
Our work is strictly confidential with the standard exceptions that require reporting instances of suspected ongoing child, dependent adult, or elder abuse, or upon determination that a client presents a serious danger of physical violence to themselves or others (this does not include consensual BDSM acts of course).
 
Sessions are 75 minutes but longer times can be arranged. Skype and telephone appointments are also available.
 
Question: How is this style of coaching different from traditional psychotherapy?
 
I am NOT a pyschotherapist. As your coach, I work to create a safe and healthy relationship & intimacy laboratory for embodied experimentation with you, which will impart a true experience of what healthy relating looks and feels like. This will give you a better ability to identify and create it in the real world, often quicker than talk therapy. We can practice conversations and movement. If appropriate for your goals and within mutually agreeable boundaries, we can harness touch and/or erotic engagement within specific learning exercises as practice for the real world. Our work is always clothing-on with no genital stimulation nor lips kissing. 
 
Traditional psychotherapy, or what is often called ‘talk therapy’, on the other hand, usually focuses on conversations to uproot and correct ongoing behavioral patterns. This is much more restricted in terms of boundaries and physical engagement with a practitioner. Where somatic experiences are included they are separate from, instead of directly engaging with, your therapist.
 
You can’t learn to ride a bike simply by talking about it, so working with a somatic coach can be a quicker road to transformation than working with a talk therapist.
 
One is not better than the other – they are different and depend on you, your needs, issues, and goals. My coaching often complements concurrently working with a therapist. 
 
To find out how I would approach your particular situation and goals, please accept my invitation to a free initial consultation Zoom call. You’ll get to gauge your comfort with me and I can answer any questions you may have to help you decide if I’m the right coach for you. To book your free call, click here.

About Me

Digger Keith

Qualifications:

  • Trained in the Somatica® Method
  • Coaching experience since mid 2016
  • Trained in Nonviolent Communication
  • Professional and life experience across 5+ decades and many cultures
  • Extensive education in psychology, comedy, charisma, sexuality, anatomy, and physiology.
  • M.S. Psychology, B.S. Biology, B.A. Chemistry
  • Graduate of the San Francisco Comedy College

I am a sex-positive, often-kinky, cisgender, mostly-gay daddy dude who strongly values sexual, gender, and relationship diversity. I am based in San Francisco, California, and available locally in person and worldwide via Zoom.

I am educated & experienced in sexuality, biology, anatomy, physiology, nonviolent communication, psychology, charisma, comedy, and the Somatica® method of sex & relationship coaching. As a life-long learner, I draw from decades of professional and personal life experiences across the globe, inspired by cultures with healthier relationships and sexuality.

I grew up as an awkward out-cast in sex-negative, puritanical, and homophobic middle America. I’ve tried the inauthentic life and it sucked real hard. When I came out in the early ’90s, LGBTQIA2+ role models were hard to find.

I’ve worked through our culture’s negative judgment and beliefs about my body, my relationships, and my sexuality. I’ve persevered with confidence to pursue my desires and build profoundly supportive, loving, and sexy relationships.

My passion is empowering others to overcome shame, repression, and fearful limitations to create a life full of joy, wonderful relationships, and mind-blowing sex. My style of relating is profound and thoughtful in balance with play and humor when & where appropriate. 

My vision is a world where all people are afforded the support, information, and transformational experiences to grow into the wonderfully diverse, fully empowered, and shamelessly authentic versions of ourselves. Join me in building a society that flourishes in healthy relational & erotic skills that forge the best relationships – from friends to community to colleagues to families and, of course, to lovers.

Choosing a coach is a big decision. I recommend to select a coach that you feel safe, warm, and comfortable talking with. To find out if that’s me, I hope you’ll accept my invitation for a free initial consultation Zoom call. I can share my approach particular to your situation and goals and answer any questions to help you decide if I’m the right fit for you. To book your free call, click here.

Reviews

“For the first time in a long time, I was comfortable with someone in an intimate space, with no fear of being hurt, or not meeting expectations. I could say “I can do this” and enjoy the moment….The feeling is indescribable; it is the true sense of “empowerment.” ….your smiles, and patience, and tenderness were an essential part of today’s accomplishment. Please accept my thanks, from the bottom of my heart. Every moment of intimacy from here forward will be in part because you helped me reclaim the ability to be intimate with someone. And that’s on top of all the outstanding information that you shared…” (Name changed to respect confidentiality)

Oliver, age 58

“Digger’s openness and non-judgmental embrace feels like I have made a new friend for life, one who not only cares about my happiness, but has the skills, heart and tools to make it happen. Somehow this beautiful guy is both man and boy, reassuring friend and hot stranger, a companion to go where you want, but also a leader whose wisdom will get you there safely. He can create an awakening for joyful new chapters in your life, and restore your confidence to make your dreams come true.”

Stan, Age 63

“Digger has an easy-going style that is supportive, non-judgmental, and nurturing….He genuinely enjoys what he does which I find empowering as it provides me the license to push through old boundaries…. he helped me (re)discover the inherently playful nature of sex and that which makes me attractive regardless of age, physique, or experience. He helped renew and accentuate my enthusiasm to explore, be myself, and gain a sense of confidence I never had. Digger provided me the chance to be confident around my sexuality. Confidence opens new doors to intense and playful opportunities. Community ideals regarding beauty continue to be our own worst enemy; Digger helps me distance myself from those ego deflators and barriers to fully enjoy and explore my sexuality. I find him an irresistible breath of fresh air. He is honest, earnest, bright, and sexy as hell.”

Gabriel, age 51